For Latoya

Have you counted every tear I’ve cried?
Felt the pain I feel inside?
I’ve been strong at least I’ve tried
But life hasn’t been the same since you died.

I’ll ache for the good times that have been,
will reminisce every smile I’ve seen.
I’ll hold on tight to the times we spent together,
I guess only memories last forever.

Why they took you, I’ll never know.
Every day, my sadness grows.
There’s so many words I need to say
I miss you more each and every day.

I know that your soul is flying free,
but I can’t stop my heart from crying
“come back to me”.

The Lord’s beautiful angel
a soldier so true
If only you knew how much I love you.

Upon so many lives you had a huge affect
There’s so much love you for and so much respect
I still can’t accept the fact you’re gone,
but in my hear you’ll always live on.


The kiss

Oh my god.
I have this elated feeling.
It’s just one of those days I feel like screaming.
I’m disguised by a girlish smile
Dazzling teeth for another mile.

It just phenomenally took my breath away
Oh, it would have been easy to get carried away.
Our bodies just oozed with passion,
made stronger yet by infatuation.

The way he ran his fingers through my hair,
as though he wanted to imprison me there
I desperately drank him in,
I’m not the devil but it felt like sin.

There were fireworks shooting off in my mind,
I simply turned to mush inside.
Weak knees and closed eyes
his lips just had me mesmerised.

It was one of those moments you try hard not to squeal
and run your finger across your lips to make sure it was real.
I never knew it was possible to feel like this!
It was such an amazing kiss!



Thanks Cupid for all you did

I didn’t even say how much I’d miss you
your perfect smile, your eyes so blue
and I forgot to warn you to take care
call me selfish, but since when was love fair?

And we kinda stood there in each other’s arms
Desperate to avoid destiny’s harm.
Hell, I tried so hard not to cry
but I was never any good at saying goodbye.

God only knows, I feel like a fool,
Wasting all that time trying to play cool.
You thought I was shy around your mates,
but truth be told, I’m terrified of fate.

Dear Cupid, can I have him back?
I never said thank you for making me smile,
even thought it was just for a while.
When you held me for that very last time,
I inhaled you so deeply, my heart’s act of crime.

I had a million things in my mind,
but the right word were impossible to find.
You squeezed my hand but then you let go
then said there was no such thing as tomorrow.

But I guess we’re lucky in a way,
because we’ve always got memories of yesterday
baby, I miss you. Oh and Cupid?
You’re a bastard but thanks anyway.

A girl’s prerogative

I’m sorry that I am alive Mr Egoist
If you had your way, I’d probably slice my wrist.
I’m sorry I live in your pathetic excuse of a world.
Sorry I decided not to be your girl.

You know you didn’t always treat me like this
There was once a time it was me you’d kiss.
It’s not my fault you take rejection badly
Now you disrespect me gladly.

Don’t disguise the reason you treat me like shit
I didn’t accept your offer and you had a fit.
You treat me like the scum of the earth.
but to be with you? It’s less than my life’s worth.

You’re acting like a bit of prick
Because I refused to be your chick.
But wouldn’t your mates laugh
If I told them what you did, and the other half.

You tend to treat me like dirt,
Only because I refuse to flirt.
You see, you think you can give me such a dig
but it doesn’t bother me, you’re a lousy pig.

You roll around me in all this crap,
but I look on it as my cleansing wrap.
You try to drag me down but I stay adamant,
Gold help you, you’re so arrogant.

Dreaming

Suddenly I started to realise
I was looking at you through misted eyes
and when I was finally able to see,
I saw that you and I weren’t meant to be.

Shattered dreams of what we had
I wander around with eyes so sad.
Fantasies of a delusional mind
It’s for the best, I must leave you behind.

Cupid’s arrow plundered into my heart
Deep insight, I’m being clawed apart.

You seem to have a mystical power over me.
I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve. Can’t you see?
Why the hell do I feel this way?
You’re on my mind every second of each day.

L-O-V-E?
How could it possibly be?
L-O-V-E?
You’d never feel the same for me.

You’re the only one who can stop me from breathing
I see your exquisite face whenever I’m dreaming
But it’s time I let go of you
I shouldn’t hold onto a dream that won’t come true.

Fraud investigator

We sat in the kitchen, hushed for a while
I felt like a criminal with a guilty smile.
I looked at her and saw no emotion in her eyes.
She seemed to be searching mine for lies.

A strange woman parked in our living room,
Come to perish our world in doom.
Without invitation, she sat under the weight of her hair
Investigated mom and dad, made me feel sick from her stare.

She twisted every word into something wrong
It was killing my mom, just trying to stay strong.
There the woman sat in her counterfeit greatness,
when I looked at my dad, he was aged with sadness.

Connor so young only asked why,
doing the dishes, I tried not to cry.
Dad trying to play it cool,
Mom trying to not be unnerved by the rule.

Now I realise our world can be ripped apart.
I wonder how this woman lives with a stone cold heart
Still, I know lying keeps us alive
In this game of fear we have to survive.

Right now our livelihood hangs on a thread,
my heart’s in my mouth, heart pumping with dread.
Living is everything this is about,
what happens if we get found out?

Misery

Hold me close, draw me near
Let me cry my unending tear.
Whisper malicious words,
ridicule me for being insane
cradle me in my pain.
Mess with my head,
send me night’s worst dream
laugh at me while I scream.
Stay with me, by my friend
bring me my bloody end.
Take me into your wrath
Let me anguish free.
I’m the patron saint of misery.

In this life

I lie, I cry, I breathe, I die
but in this life, who am I?
The girl with the broken smile
who’s cried in the rain for half a mile.

I laugh, I cheat, I share, I sneer
but in this life, who am I?
A child that’s lived a life forlorn
who would like to die before the morn.

I try, I fail, I fall of the rail
but in this life, who am I?
A lonely girl who wants to love,
who believe’s the future’s in the stars above.

I shout, I scream, I sleep, I dream,
but in the life, who am I?
Another young lady trying to forget her past,
another young girl trying to make the future last.

Trying to learn all I’ve been told,
’cause in this world time is gold
I’m just another existence trying to survive
’cause in this life I am alive.

You’re intelligent and funny
you give me this sensation in my tummy.
I’m uncovering your magic ever so slowly
Wandering if you know I’ll never leave you lonely.

My only one, my hope and my strength
to see you happy I’ll go to any length.
My softness, sensitivity and every fear,
if you ever need someone, I’m always here.

Just like the snow, of wishes come true
I can’t help but wonder why I’m not with you
Under the stars with you I lay
But you’re loving arms are missions away.

I’d give anything to kiss your lips,
to hold and to hug you with your hands on my hips
Just wanna run to you, don’t let me go
need your smile when I’m high and need your love when I’m low.

Times in my life when I see the lies and the dark
the mystery that’s you makes the sweetest remark,
the only thing I see, you are my light.
When things are so wrong, you make everything alright.

Thinking of you suddenly makes me okay,
somehow I’ll show you that you’re my night and my day.
You mean so much to me and in these words I can’t say
I just want you to be mine one day.

The thought of you hurt makes me want to cry
to nurture you with love, I’d give all my time to go by,
You’re handsome and strong, you fill me with joy.
It’s you and you along I want to call my boy.

I waited up for you, all last night
with legs crossed, holding teddy tight.
Tears poured, my heart was sore
Your abandoning footprints across the floor.

Another stranger who I call mister,
carrying my starving little sister.
His love came from the wait below
his fist is the only face I know.

Tending fields of rice I am stuck,
returning home I’m forced to fuck.
If I’m not pleasure enough, my body is beat
My stomach screeches to find something to eat.

Mamma, why did you leave after the raids?
The only memory I have of you is aids.
These days I’m quick to tire
my back is scorched by the sun’s fire.

I lie my body under many men,
being implored time and time again.
I’ve lost lives, in fact I’ve lost three –
the mother of those lives was me.

I pray to God this illness take me,
I’ve heard his angels are blessed with purity.
Maybe, Mamma, we can be reunited there
Me, you and my teddy bear.